|Keep Calm and Pass It On!|
But, what can we do when we lose our sense of calm? Here is a list of tips that just may make you feel better when the storm hits!
The first thing one needs to do when something happens that bends us out of shape is: Notice our reaction and Identify the trigger, basically stop what you’re doing and think, “Why am I getting mad, what just happened?” What were your body’s cues that signified that you were angry? Take note!
The second thing we can do is: Just Breathe. We often forget how important breathing is. Deep calming breaths always help diffuse the reaction to any awful situation, and prepare us for thinking, which leads into the next step…
Observation and Identification: What is it that our bodies are feeling? What are we thinking? Are we relating this incidence to something else in our lives; current or past? What’s really going on?
Fourth step: Adding some perspective to our situation helps. If we visualize our current predicament through someone else’s eyes, it can help us see other ways of finding the root to our angry outburst, “Why did I just freak out? Would so & so have done that?” Keep breathing!
Last step: Now that you’re brain is functioning, because you’ve allowed it enough oxygen, you can rationally explore useful ways to resolve the issue. What can you do in this situation that will be most helpful? Will whatever you choose to do be the best way to help all involved in the crisis? Knowing your principles and values will help you choose how to settle the dispute, make sure you stay in alignment with them.
These steps are for a situation where one flies off the handle and needs to realign quickly, but in order to help you stay more calm on a continuing basis: Never underestimate the power of meditation. When you meditate, you focus on your breathing, and everything else seems to fade away, it's a wonderful medium to try out. Try to remember to breathe deeply more often, move your body, and watch what you’re eating. It may sound corny, but eating healthy and exercising helps keep the anger at bay, and helps us to sort through our thoughts a lot easier.
- Adapted from STOPP© Carol Vivyan 2010